I was going to do “accusation in a mirror” today, but I need a little more time to organize my thoughts on it. So here’s another warning for society from 1968’s Dmitri Borgmann (“Weird Words”). This one’s a bit more tongue-in-cheek:
Our language is slowly but surely being infiltrated by a series of what may best be described as “weird” words. We feel that you, as a patron of the language, should be alerted to the invasion now in progress, so that appropriate countermeasures may be planned and put into effect…
Each of them consists of 7 or 8 letters; the vowels of the alphabet are either entirely absent or represented by a solitary Y; the letters P, L, and K (or Q) are invariably included; the letter X is usually, though not always, present; and the word or name is unpronounceable by normal standards…Report a word and save a life!
Borgmann cites PYRZQXGL from the Oz books, Joe BTFSPLK from Li’l Abner, Mr. MXYZPTLK from Superman comics—originally spelled MXYZTPLK—and the reversal of his name used to get rid of him, KLPTZYXM or KLTPZYXM. “The newest invader, spotted in the pages of the September, 1967 issue of Intelligence: The Mensa Journal, is Simon QXYPTKL,” an alien translator representing the “little green men” trying to get into Mensa.
It seems Borgmann’s warning against these invaders was more effective than his fulminations about “logical” band names. Scanning OneLook.com for consonant-only 7-8 letter words with P, L, K/Q and no more than one Y, I can only find a few new examples. None have the popularity or staying power of Mr. Mxyzptlk, who’s still appearing in new forms in 2023. (The con job he pulls in the video clip below was one of my favorite superhero scenes of the year.)
CSSSPNQL, a health-and-social-services group for Canadian natives that today goes by FNQLHSSC. So—with all due respect to the First Nations—not only is this obscure, Canadian governmental-organization alphabet soup, it’s also out of date.
DPH-LQFP, short for Die-Pad Heatsink Quad Flat Package. And what could that be, you wonder? Well, a quad flat package is a circuit part in a four-sided (quad) fairly flat (flat) plastic shell (package). A die-pad is a pressure-loaded plate, and here the die pad is acting as a heat absorber (heatsink) for the QFP. So simple! Yet somehow I don’t see this catching on.
KPVCMBL, the shortened form of K. Poole Van Cleave Memorial Branch Library. You know that one, right? Well, you would if you lived in Centreville, Mississippi!
MYSQL/PHP. MySQL and PHP are both open-source languages used to create dynamic websites—I learned a little of both over the years but couldn’t recall them now. They occasionally appear in this combined form. Fair. Also cited was plPG/SQL, a variation on SQL.
PLSKTHX is a shortened “Please? Okay, thanks!” The internet: finding ever weirder ways to be polite since the mid-1980s. Some variations, also cited, included PLZKTHX and KPLZTHX. Note that these terms are the only ones that include the X Borgmann described as “usually but not always present.”)
Finally, there was the name of a video-game streamer, but they only had three subscribers on their YouTube account. I decided it’d be a bit cruel to name them just to point that out, you know? (That citation came from Urban Dictionary, because of course it did.)
And theirs was the only proper name on the list, unlike the four names Borgmann cited. I can only conclude that his call to neutralize these invaders was a rousing success. Good job, everyone!
Tomorrow: Accusation in a mirror, for real this time.
Sadly, LGBTQIA+ doesn't qualify. It does have the popularity & staying power, though.
Also, there's that legendary Calvin and Hobbes Scrabble strip that deserves a mention.